real COURAGE...

"Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."
~Spoken by Atticus Finch, by Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird



LORD,  i am so afraid.  why have you asked me to do this?  is it to help these young people, or is it to test my obedience to you?  i know nothing of what you are asking me to do.  i am not a person with an aggressive personality, i don't like big crowds, but yet you are asking me to start this from scratch?  i love you, but i am not comfortable with this.  i know nothing of business, and i know nothing of the department of human resources.  yes, my heart feels pricked by teens becoming homeless, but i am not trained to help with this.  LORD, all i can do is trust in you.  i am positive i will be persecuted at times.  i don't handle persecution or rejection well.  i am a people pleaser.  i trust you to strengthen me and to speak to me.  i trust that you will open doors that need to be opened and close doors that need to be closed. i ask that you give me courage.  i know i may be "licked" early on, but maybe this is the rare time that i will "win".  give me the courage to fight the battle for you.  i trust you will all of my heart, my soul, and my mind.  in YOUR most HOLY NAME.  amen.   

Over the last year or so, I have been feeling a prompting from God.  I have been going on a church-led mission trips each year for the last few years.  The first trip I took was to Monterrey, Mexico.  We stayed in one of the many poverty-stricken villages.  Believe it or not, I thought the place was beautiful, although not asthetically so.  The people there need access to churches so they can learn about and worship God more than they needed food or shelter (although theirs were humble possessions).  The children are very loved by their parents, but some of the homes merely have blankets for walls.  There is such a sense of pride for the few things they have.  Oftentimes, you will notice a woman SWEEPING the dirt road.  Think about that - SWEEPING A DIRT ROAD.  My heart was pricked by the sense of pride these families have. 

My second place to visit was a small village in Guatemala.  Our work was primarily in the girls' home (a.k.a. orphanage).  I took my three oldest children with me on that trip.  The girls in the home are under the care of Catholic nuns.  The only frustration I have about that is that the nuns are placed there by the leaders of the church.  The nuns do not get to choose or "feel called" to be there.  Some of the nuns were less than empathetic towards the children.

Before, some of the mission groups came and built a chicken coup for eggs and an occasional chicken dinner, as the girls ate melon rind soup nearly every day.  You have to realize that this home is WAY OFF the beaten path so getting any other means of food is not feasible.  It takes about 30-45 minutes to travel 5 miles because of the poor condition of the road.  PLUS, the home is located directly behind a poorly secured Guatemalan prison. 

One precious angel, Kimbelee, was dropped off in our equivalent of a Walmart sack.  The sack was hung on a chain link fence outside the home.  Kim had a cleft lip/palate and her family believed there was something "wrong" with her, so they gave her away.  One of the mission groups helped get her in contact with an American doctor, and now her lips are beautiful and normal.  Another little girl, Carlita, was removed from her family by the government because of violence.  Her family requested her back, and GOT HER BACK!!!  She died about a month later from an untreated urinary tract infection (8 years old) . 

ALL of the girls in the home had lice.  I was determined that it is a basic human need/right to be lice-free.  We sent our chicken bus driver, Adolfo, to the store to get all the lice treatment he could.  He brought back all they had which would treat 8 girls.  We needed to treat 24 girls!!!  After much prayer and rationing of the lice treament, all of the girls were treated.  They had HUGE smiles on their faces.  I think they felt like they were at the spa (of course, there was no hot water!!!).  Later, I often wondered if in a weird way they missed the lice.  I wondered if somehow the lice was a companion of some sort???

Each girl was equipped with 2 pairs of panties and 2 outfits.  They each had a tiny locker in which to keep their wordly possessions.  Each girl had to hand wash their clothes each day in the trough outside.  As we were leaving on our last day at the home, Jocelin (pronounced Yo-si-line), stopped Susannah to give her a gift bag, a hug, and a massive parting smile.  We didn't have time to open it until we were in the bus because it was getting dark, and we weren't required to be out at dark (child trafficking is a huge problem in Guatemala).  Once inside the bus and on our way, Susannah opened the gift from Jocelin.  It was AN ENTIRE OUTFIT, her teddy bear, and a picture of herself!!!  I had tears!!!  She gave 1 of her only 2 outfits to Susannah.  I learned a valuable lesson that day.  God spoke to me through Jocelin.  I felt a prompting to give everything I have to Him.  But how??????

I learned that once the girls reach 18, they "emancipate" out of the girls home.  In other words, they get evicted from the home.  They get evicted with NO tools or money to survive on.  Most of those girls are destined to a life of prostitution.  It's a mode of survival.  Men want sex, they have to eat to live, and they have to have money to eat.  If they have no tools or trades, they can give men sex for money.  It's the only way...

Thinking about Jocelin being forced into a life of prostitution made my stomach quesy.  How can I begin a transitional home in Guatemala for the girls that "age out" of the home??? 

Recently, I was reading an article about a woman in California who started a transitional home for teens who "age out" of the foster care system in California.  After a lot of research, I found that this is a HUGE problem in the United States of America - the place where everyone wants to live.   In Alabama alone, we currently have 5200 foster care children.  Studies show that 65% of them will either end up becoming prostitutes, drug addicts, pregnant, homeless, etc.  There are some success stories that come out of the system, but the numbers are overwhelmingly NOT in their favor. 

I kept feeling nudge after nudge from God to look into this situation.  I know NOTHING of business.  How do I start a transitional home to help equip these young people with the tools they need feel confident enough to succeed on their own in this world???  I decided that I would work on the kids in America first, then I can take the skills and knowledge I learn from this project and take it internationally.

In the coming posts, I will share some scripture that spoke to my heart.  I will share how Atticus Finch in the classic novel, To Kill A Mockingbird, changed my life.  I want to capture this journey in writing, and a what a journey it shall be....